2. Umut Önal Basketball Tournament
7 October 2003
Bilkent University / Ankara
Nazire Dedeman
Founder President of Umut Foundation
Speech Text
Empathy means that a person puts himself in other persons place, and approaches the circumstances with that persons eyes, understands and feels that persons feelings and thoughts right and conveys this understanding to that person.
This can be summarised in short, putting oneself in ones shoes, looking at things with the others eyes, treating people in a way you want to be treated.
Every persons world view is diffrenet. Therefore, a person is first an individual then is a citizen. Differences are requirement of being an individual.
This is where empathy should intervene. Millions of individuals who have different world views should have empathic communication skills to live humanely. Trying to understand the other, putting oneself in the others shoes and thus compromising, this can only be improved through education and practice. It is difficult and requires effort and love...
There are people who have different ideas, needs, values, and aims around us. These different emotions, needs, beliefs can cause conflict between people. Conflict occurs when people cannot agree on something.
We can say that conflict is essence and natural part of life. However, people need to be in peace with their relatives, friends and other people, and able to communicate satisfactorily. Therefore, gaining conflict solution (compromising) skills will firstly bring to persons life harmony.
The most important two concepts that should be learned in modern societies by the citizens are rationalism and virtue. The most important virtue of a person is not to harm himself, others and live or inanimate beings. Rationalism requires to see the other as a human being who has rights as you are, rather that seen him as an obstacle to yourself. Rationalism requires controlling anger while expressing feelings and showing courage to apologize when necessary.
İndividuals should know to inherent being able to reach their targets without harming relations in a competition and negotiating environment. Competition environment in a sport situation between two teams is very convenient to teach the youth compromising and anger management skills. Sport is a good doctrine for youth in terms of obeying the rules.
Therefore, the only alternative is taking up sports to be a modern person, a consious citizen who believes in rule of law against our education system based on memorising, in which gaining the youth life skills are not deemed important.
It was very pleased that Umut Onal, my son, your friend, took up basketball while continuoing his education for him to prepare life.
I always encouraged him and followed his teams success closely. When they lost the competition I was upset with them, when they won I was happy with them. Hand shaking with the opposite team at the end of every match taught our children to win and lose with honour and respect the others skills.
I believe that if Umut lived, he would have been with us as a person who is rational, virtueos, respectful of others, can manage his anger, whose compromising and other life skills developed and a consious citizen like you.
He is now with us, in our heart, however, unfortunately, as a person who taught us that conflicts occured in competition environment and in relations with others in social life can end up with unwanted results and sometimes these results can be very tragic.
As a person who expresed by example that for those individuals who are wary of and think of each other negatively to communicate effectively, first there should be confidence environment.
Umut Önal basketball tournament is very important to be a doctrine to the youth.
We together bear a very important mission together. We teach our children to prefer peaceful means for solving conflicts, respect to human beings and environment, beleive in rule of law and be a consious citizen on a democratic platform.
I thank you for your attendance. I am very honoured to serve and look after other children as Umuts mother.
I wish that 2nd Basketball Tournament contributes to the youth.
For a hopeful future...